New Me

My future~ I can't predict, but I can plan for it.

Yes I know, I've said the same thing over and over but the results are always disappointing. I am sick of it! I hate failing in everything I do! I feel useless and I refuse to have the feelings again because I realized that no matter how hard I tried, the results will always be same!

I have to change! Yeah that's right. I just noticed that all my failure are caused by my own attitude and behavior . I am not saying that I am a nice person all this time but that kind of attitude have made some people steps on me and stab my back.

I won't let that thing happen anymore. Remember when I told you about the people who only noticed and mind about my existence when they need something? Hell yeah, those days are over, fools. You can't fool me again with those phony smiles! You only make me annoyed! Pfft! Give me something but excuses!

Who are they? I promise you I will never lose anything if I stop communicating with those type of people. Those people never brings me any benefits, not at all! So, why would I be care about giving any damn? I will never force myself to be nice to those people who are nothing but a big time selfish!

So, as I was saying, when I go back to my college, I want to make sure that I will do exactly what my mind says. No, I won't let my heart controls me. If my heart insist, I want it to have a deal with my mind first. Allah SWT will always guide me no matter what. He understands me and I believe that everything I do, he knows my reason and that's for sure!

I don't force anyone to understands all my reasons, all I care is that Allah SWT knows all my intentions! So what I expects most of the people who never tired to used me to know that they should start to grow up and go own their own because that is what they supposed to do!

It was stupid of me of being nice all the time and being patience towards those lame-o's. I can be mean but I refuse. So I think, the best thing I can do is to IGNORE.. .

I STILL GOT TIME IN THIS SEMESTER HOLIDAY.

These days are enough to discover my true self and to improve my attitude along with my behavior.. :)
My vacation helps me a lot. Thanks to my big family all people involved in curing my feelings :') So, whatever comes after this, I will face and deal with it!! !

Thanks for the 'rainbow' too, ya Allah yang Maha Esa.

Auf Wiedersehen!

Ruined Page

What do you know, 'friend'?

The old page in my life have been filled by junks and stuffs, good and bad, and it has no worth for me to stick to that page. I believe, although this words may been said by me for many times, but now I really mean it because I refuse to let myself hurt just to make others happy, ever again. I am being serious this time.

Starting from this moment, I will go on and start over with my life like a new person. Some of you have failed to appreciate my existence and some of you are brave enough to treat me like a junk.

I only exist when you need something, right? You don't even bother to say hi or even look when you have everything. I have feelings! Go, find someone else who are willing to do whatever you ask them to do.

All this time, I have sacrificed my all just to make sure my 'friends' are happy. How they repay me? Sad. In fact, I doesn't bring any difference if they are not with me. I feel better!

To the people who appreciate me, I will always be the same.

Some of you should realized. We may know each other for a very long time. But that doesn't mean that I won't change my act towards you. Time doesn't mean anything. I want the quality ONLY.

If you don't want to be friend with me anymore, I think it is better for you to do so. So I don't have to lie to you anymore. Much better, my life gets better without any opportunists like you!

It does feel sad to leave a good friend. But I have to do so. Allah SWT planned to give me a better friends than I 'already have'. So, I just want to say that, I dare you to find a better friend than me.

No, I never said that I am perfect, ah shoot just find one if you can.
I will never be the same. I MUST GO ON WITHOUT YOU.

I don't think we can go further, together. We should go with our own way.

Thanks to you, my 'pages' has been ruined.

Thanks, 'friend',

Thanks a lot.

Penipu Liar

Panas hati, pergi pergi!

First thing first, tak, aku tak marah pun. Tapi aku cuma rasa lebih baik kalau aku luahkan kat sini cepat sebelum aku termarah kat dunia sebenar. Ok.. :)

Setiap manusia akan menipu dengan sebab mereka tersendiri. Aku suka ada orang yang tipu sebab menjaga orang lain. Aku paling tak suka sikap orang yang menipu dengan tujuan bangga diri dan menipu sebab nak sedapkan hati orang semata-mata!

Kalau ada penipu didepan aku dan aku tau dia tipu aku, siap!

Jangan tipu aku dan tipu orang lain. Lagi teruk jadinya nanti. Tell the truth. Percentage untuk aku marah adalah 0.01% sahaja. Siapa yang ajar kau menipu ni? Dah besar kan?

Tapi jangan seronok sangat berkata-kata sampai nak guriskan perasaan aku. Sebab kalau hati aku terguris, aku tak menangis tau, sebaliknya tangan dan kaki aku yang akan naik. Yes, lagi teruk dari yang kau boleh jangka!

Aku mengaku, masa aku mula masuk tadika dulu, tiba-tiba je aku jadi seorang penipu. I guess, ianya adalah lumrah manusia. Shit. Aku cover diri.. . Ahhaaha true story!

By the way, bila aku terus terang, tak dinafikan ada yang menafikan kata-kata aku dengan sekeras-kerasnya. Nak jaga hati punya pasal, aku sanggup memalsukan kebenaran dengan menafikan kembali apa yang aku cakap. Doh betul!

Nak jaga hati orang ni agak bullshit. Dorg fikir tak perasaan kita macam mana? Tak. Macam tulah manusia kebanyakan. Nak orang jaga hati dia je. Hati kita siapa nak jaga?! Fish!

Bila aku dah habis sekolah, aku tekad untuk berhenti menipu. Alhamdulillah, sampai sekarang aku tak menipu. Aku tak nak fikir kebajikan si polan yang nak menang sahaja dah. Aku akan jujur for the rest of my life. Masam muka dengan aku. Aku tak tipu kau pun! Aku pun tak rugi apa-apa.

I feel great. Terasa hidup ni lebih dilindungi. Setakat tipu sunat. Is there such thing? Huhu.. . Cuai-cuai. Aku kan manusia biasa. Selagi aku waras, ok lah.

Jujurnya, aku dah tak pandai menipu. Kalau aku cuba menipu, memang boleh kantoi yang aku ni menipu. Baiklah konon. Tak, tolonglah faham apa yang aku cuba sampaikan ni. Nak fikir negatif pasal orang lain, apa dapat?

Jadi, janganlah ambil kesempatan pula eh. Aku tak nak buat dosa dah. Aku muda lagi, aku pun tak yakin boleh hidup lama ni. Bagilah aku taubat perlahan-lahan.

(Tipu-tipu and stuffs ni, pengaruh dari drama VanilaCoklat lah ni.. .)

Huh, alhamdulillah, lega hati.. .

Assalamualaikum & Auf Wiedersehen!

I Love My Heart La

Aku tahu, kamu tak suka dikongkong.

Aku pun tak suka dikongkong.

Kalau dah faham, aku harap kamu tak akan tegur minat sesiapa kerana hakikatnya setiap manusia mempunyai minat mereka yang tersendiri.

Kamu tak patut rendah-rendahkan aku dengan apa yang aku minat atau dengan apa yang aku suka. Lagi-lagi bila kau tegur kononnya apa yang aku minat tu adalah suatu kesalahan yang sangat besar.

Kamu merendahkan maruah aku dihadapan mereka seolah-olah aku ni seorang yang tak pandai berfikir! Sakitnya hati aku waktu itu!

You can always inbox you know. Itu adalah salah satu function laman social.

Aku tak larang kamu tegur kesilapan aku, tetapi biarlah berpada-pada. Aku yakin yang kamu sedar bahawa teguran dikhalayak ramai itu antara suatu penghinaan terhadap sesiapa yang menerimanya. Ianya menghina!

Kamu nak kalau aku buat benda yang sama? Kamu nak 'diajar' oleh aku? Aku pun tak ada masa nak jadi obses bab jaga tepi kain orang seperti kamu. I know how to survive on my own. Hakikatnya, aku dan salah seorang dari mereka digelar individual nomadder whut.

"KAMI DIBERI AKAL MASING-MASING.

PANDAI-PANDAILAH KAMI GUNAKAN!"

Adakah didalam hati kamu teringin sekali kamu dijadikan seperti boneka yang dikawal orang untuk menjalani hidup kamu? Tentu tidak.

Dear, I do realized about your good intention to help but you just don't get it. You don't know me and I don't know you. You can't just come and simply assume that you know me more than my parents does.

"THAT IS SO WRONG, MAN.. ."

If you insist, come. Meet me. I will ask you to give me 10 reasons of why do you have to control my life.

You have to eat my knuckle sandwich if you failed to answer that question.

YES I AM SERIOUS.

JANGAN MAIN-MAIN DENGAN ORANG YANG KAMU TIDAK DIKENALI.

Aku memang berharap kamu baca apa yang aku tulis ni. Aku tak akan cakap benda ni face to face pada kamu. Malas lah nak retakkan hati kamu yang kononnya sangat lembut dan mudah terguris (blergh). Yelah hati kamu seorang je yang cepat tersentuh kan? Hati aku je yang takkan tersentuh kan? Aku tahu kamu pun ada perasaan. Be thankful sebab aku ini seorang yang cuba memahami.

Bila aku perlukan nasihat, pandai-pandailah aku cari. Hadooii~ Aku sekeh kang.

Your Eyes Are Lying To You

"Hey you! You're doin' it wrong, man!"

(gambar hiasan)

Judgmental Freaks!

They are some people only see what they want to see.

We don't have to force them to see what we want them to see.

Let them understand on their own. They are all grown ups.

Of course.

Misunderstandings can happen any time, but I prefer to call it as bad timing.

Honestly, I am very unhappy when this thing happen, everyone does.

When we do something that can be considered as nice, of course, our intention is to seek for His bless, there are always annoying people just came and crash our moods. Why? I am so sure you all also faced the same situations, right?

They may think that they are good enough to judge other people, but actually, they have NO qualification to do so. I never let my heart judge other people from what I only saw. I know, I am not even close to perfection. Not a chance, not ever! I hate judging other people. I only let Allah do that to me.

The solution to something annoying like this is that,

"THEY HAVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH LA!"

Tuduh-menuduh tanpa asas ni memang sesuatu perkara yang = merapu.

Menyampah yes, tak akan ada orang suka. Benci sangat.

Daripada benci pada orang tu, baik benci pada sikap orang tu.

Tak elok benci membenci ni.. . Islam tak ajar pun.

Huh.. .

Ikut lah nawaitu masing-masing.

Alhamdulillah, mental aku masih stabil.

When I am about to do something wrong, I can think of Allah and the consequences.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.. . Sometimes, I don't. Tipulah kalo aku tak buat salah.

Aku bukan malaikat. Tapi manusia. Tak boleh lari dari buat silap.

I want to be a better person inside and outside.

I want to change my past. I must be better.

Let me put down some example.

There is this time, a person can just simply accuse me.

"It's not nice."

Yeah, it is predictable. In that sentence, I know the reeeeaaal meaning inside it.

"I am not a fool and I'll never get fooled, fool!"

That person didn't even know the truth.

I wish I could stab her eyes with my pencil!

The person, saw something 'wrong'. But the real situation is never wrong nor right.

Niii stereotype dan jealous! I don't get it.

WHY DOES SOMETHING LAME LIKE THIS HAPPENED AGAIN?

I never think about bad things all the time. I want to try my best to control my

temptations. Why do someone keep seeing it as something they want to see?!

Your eyes are lying, buster! I only let you judge me when I've done a sin.

Jagalah tepi kain aku, tapi janganlah biar matamu terus menipu.

You know what will happen to the

"Beauty holds in the eyes of the beholder."

Kalo setiap benda kelihatan buruk dimata kamu, macam mana orang nak nampak kecantikan didalam mata kamu itu? Sedeeeeyy!

Renungan bersama dan marilah menuju ke arah kebaikan.

Sentiasalah doakan stereotype ini dikurangkan di dalam mentaliti orang kita ni.

"YES AKU TAK SEMPURNA! BIARLAH HANYA ALLAH SWT YANG MENILAI!"

That Person!

First thing first. F to that person I was going to talk about.

Nobody likes rude people. They are usually selfish and ego.

I hate rude people. Not only they are rude but they are also stinks!

This post is full of hatred and anger. I will never post anything like this ever again.

This post are posted just to show you all that this person does exist.

That Person. A very immature.

I know someone who are rude. That person always hated me. I know it because I can see it very well, that person talks on my back too. Comparing to that person, I am much better, yeah, honestly. It is very disgusting when there was a time, a cockroach wandering around, when it comes to my place, that person try damn best to kill it.

Yes. The cockroach died exactly under my table. That person really wants my place to be dirty in any way. F that person, the slime didn't come out. Disappointing much? Such an unthankful person. I always cleaned that person's place. When that person are forced to do the same thing for everyone else, that person will mention it in later days. Ok ok we will remember your noble attitude.

Let me proceed. That person used other people things without permission too. Pathetic, right?Shameless, lazy, no self-identity and even hang out with popular people although that person was not like that person. Just to get popular as well? You want to comment?

That person doesn't own a mirror I guess. That person talked dirty about me and someone else to other people but that person doesn't realize that they talked about that person's own self. Hahaha very funny. It is like spitting to the air, don't you think?

Since the first time I met that person, I sensed that I will never get along with that person. Not a chance, not ever. I believe because that's the way it has to be. That person doesn't have any benefit to me but that person always needs me. Hahaha how ironic.. !

And.. .

I really want to tell that person to stop interrupting when I was talking to someone else. All the time. Always interrupting. Haish.. . I never asked that person anything. Please, who wants to talk to that person? Stop being busybody, please? I am begging.. . Also, that person think that they are smarty pants, yeah? That person think that they know everything, right? The answers I want always wrong when that person answering it. Shut up to that person. That person only expert about erotic stuffs. Wow, where do that person get the information from? Source? Hahahaha!! ! Joking, I don't wanna know about that disgusting information. That person said "no you have to know.. . bla bla bla.. ". I can think about it by myself and requires no information from other people.

One more thing, they way that person talk is absolutely annoying. I can see how that person talk to me and how that person talk to other 'cool' people. Yes I compare it. That person's tone is like a ditch and talk like the listeners who are listening doesn't have any feelings (that's me and some people). Shame on that person. Yeah, often, I talked to someone else, but answers I receive from that person. Who asked that person to answer my questions? Dah tu mulut macam bontot ayam. Anyhow, if I accidentally make mistake on that person's place, that person talk overly. It was an accident, fool.

That person will never treat other people like that person treat me, right? It will always be me. That's because that person didn't know me yet. My life must be better without that person's existence. What a killjoy. Now I know that person is full of flaw, I will not do whatever that person do. I want to b 100% different than that person.

I've been very patience with that person for a very long time. I never showed to anyone my true self or my anger. Nobody will recognize me if I am angry. I just wait for a suitable time. When the time comes, I will make sure that person will cry and puke when I critic that person with my spicy mouth in front of other people!

I could also be mean, telling the truth too all the person's friends, family and partner. Hoho they will hate that person. But I am a nice and innocent person, I will not do that.

"They can see the real you with their own eyes. I don't have to do anything."

JUST WAIT FOR YOUR TIME!

Bye-bye. Repents before you die! Hahaha!